say NO to feeling SHITTY!

i've been feeling like SHIT these past 2 days.
no, make that 1 and a half days.. ever since you started your mission to try to mend our broken hearts.

like, seriously, the reasons you give NEVER change. the excitement u try to inject for your supposedly conjured up "future together" leaves me gaping in horror.
wait, those aren't even reasons, they are excuses to support your already very flimsy cause.
yet, these are the very same reasons i used to fall for. i wished someone had the guts enough to slap me out of that hazy stupor 8 months ago. GOODNESS. what was i even thinking?
its amazing what 2 weeks of no-contact can give you.
it makes you think and realise the ridiculity of us together and how we'd NEVER, let me repeat that once more, NEVER WORK.

i absolutely cannot believe u pulled the same old stunts..

lets see,

1. calling me nonstop.
2. leaving me "urgent" msges that needed me to call you back immediately.
3. leave umpteen voicemail messages?
4. driving to my place.
5. not letting me out of your car until you've finished your tirade.
6. tell me how beautiful we are together. (bullshit, get a life, really)
7. call me nonstop YET AGAIN at night.


ITS OVER. GET IT. O.V.E.R.

no amount of persuasion will ever let me walk into that damn same ol' trap again.
i'm over this shit.


oh, and 1 more thing.

i had completely NO MOOD to work at all cuz as usual, like how all bad relationships tend to take its toll.
my emotions were in a mess and i was in 2 minds.
then i thought about how thankful i should be for so many things in my life.

GOODNESS, WHAT AM I MOPING ABOUT?

1. i have wonderful parents.
2. i have 4 fully functional limbs.
3. i have a hearty appetite and absolutely enjoy food.
4. i have 2 eyes to see and enjoy the splendour of all of God's creation.
5. i have supportive friends who actually care and call when i need them.
6. i can laugh, and i like to think i have a sense of humour. (you're not allowed to protest, i just had my heart broken, kelian okay.)
7. i am literate which means i can enjoy reading God's word.
8. i don't look strange. (i don't, RIGHT? wait, do i?)

i have alot of things to be thankful and happy about.
and i thank God that He is gonna make a way and give me the strength to walk out of this.
there are so many things to learn always when we encounter problems.


and just as i was feeling pretty much like a herd of horses stampeded above me, i read this verse again.

James 1 : 2 - 4

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

i'm gonna consider it pure joy and know that this testing develops perserverance and when its work is finished, i may be mature & complete, not lacking anything.

Amen. :)

i feel so much better already.

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