i think someone lied.

if not, i was just lying to myself all the damn time.
goodness, whoever said when you work, you don't bring your work back was a complete liar!!
you do! in fact just like the dreaded exams, it stays lingering at the back of your mind waiting to implode on a nice sunny thursday morning.

drats.
i look at my TO-DO list and i can only sigh.
its 11am and i am only nearly half-done.

--

its nearly always is a case of "you say, i say, but we don't get."
my itchy fingers wanted to dial your digitzzzzz but i resisted.
i think i'm getting pretty good at this whole RESIST D.Y.D. game.
in fact i'm a pro, so good that currently my score for it is 9924189483798712 and i'm on level 99/100.
bloody shit.

i remember a particularly amusing conversation i had with you eons ago.
I HATE IT THAT I REMEMBER WHOLE CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU WORD-FOR-WORD.

you: i hate 2nd hand smoke.
me: its okay i guess. nothing too bad. just move away.
you: are you an ass? i can't move away. they are my damn clients.
me: stop calling me ass. shit you. you're the ass. i'm a whole human being.
you, i meant ass as in DONKEY, ass. haha.
me: you're SO not funny.
you: i am SO. no wait, i am not SO. you are SO, SO-phia. goodness, check out my wit. my ultimate prowess is twisting my words to crush my enemies like a coooocccccckkroach. HA HA HA.
me: shuddup.
you: ass.
me: you have a fat ass.
you: thanks. i always knew i had a knack for rearing farm animals, you, for instance. indeed, you look fat enough to slaughter for thanksgiving dinner now. too bad you're not a turkey but rather, an ass.
me: SHUDDUP. i will not talk to you for the next year or so.



I HATED YOU FOR THE "SCINTILLATING" CONVERSATIONS YOU LOVED TO ENGAGE ME IN.

sigh.

i also remember how you used to ask me to read more of the papers, to read all the political issues in Time mag, to watch bbc and cnn.
in your own words, "to keep abreast of the times."
i could never hold up against you when you decided to rattle off about current affairs.
you said it'd help me when i talked to the big bosses, that you were training me for my future.
how you used to hide the Life section of the Straits Times so i'd read the other sections.
how you brought back newspapers from everywhere for me to read.
you always said you did everything in my best interest.

you lied too, we're all inherently selfish.

you merely wanted someone who could spar with you intellectually, in your own terms.
you merely wanted to prepare me for the day that when you brought me to see your big-shot friends, i'd hold up on my own and not embarrass the shit out of you.
you merely wanted your ideal version of a partner that you conjured up in that little head of yours.

we all lie. but most of all, i lied to myself.

--